Who's answers are these, anyway?

Reviewing recordings of myself is…tough. Luckily, I get to practice doing this a lot as part of my thesis. In the course of conducting fieldwork , I’ve made thirteen or so recordings of interviews, mostly with members of the three ensembles in my study, but also with composers at Indiana University. Interviews last anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours.

(this is a picture of my assorted recording equipment from my May NYC trip to Bang on a Can. It all fit in my backpack, along with unshown mics and xlr cables)


One aspect that disturbs me concerns the extent to which I mediate the responses of interlocutors (fancy word for people you speak with). Obviously, I’m going to re-shape their comments in the process of writing my thesis. I’ll edit down “ums,” long pauses, and occasionally even insert words in an attempt to clarify what I’m claiming other people said. I understood this as a transcription problem, but I didn’t realize that mediation starts from the moment people agree to answer questions.

Take for example my interview with Nic. Nic is a member of a prestigious ensemble. Like the other members of the group, he was extremely kind and easy going. Unfortunately, I was nervous to speak with him, and in the interview I sound anxious, somewhat controlling, and scattered. I frequently interrupted Nic as he attempted to explain something, and I rarely laughed at his jokes because of my anxiety. When I listen to the recording I hear good answers regularly inhibited by antsy questions. I also hear my own inability to converse at any comfortable level. It’s basically a sort of politely intense interrogation.

Not all of my interviews are so wonky. Some contain long uninterrupted replies, and are genuinely enjoyable to hear. I engage in conversation when appropriate, and encourage the person to speak freely and openly. In general, most recordings have elements of both the “good” and the “bad.” All in all, I would say that the more interviews I transcribe, the better I am able to shape sessions towards what I consider to be positive ends.

Whatever my feelings about the interview content, my role in shaping and mediating responses has become increasingly clear. I would argue that for my ethnography (and probably for others, too) the interrogator plays a highly influential role in crafting the responses of informants. Obviously I cannot control their actions, but I do control their representation.

Ugh, Finally

It’s been a busy two months. I took my comprehensive exams, an intense, fascinating and terrifying three part experience that tests your knowledge on any course you have taken in grad school, and on matters related to your research.

Step 1: Take one week to answer the three questions of my thesis committee.

Step 2: Four to five days after submitting my answers, I defend and expand upon them in an oral exam, a fun one on three session usually lasting two hours. I was riding an emotional roller coaster during the oral, sometimes feeling totally confident and at others feeling pretty dumb.

Step 3: Revise my answers as per the comments made during the oral exam. Expand upon ideas, clarify language, and reinforce connections.

The calmer I felt, the better my answers, in both the written and oral portions of the test. Fear, anxiety, ego, and vanity lurked dangerously in my mind as I tried to answer questions.

I also managed to finish submitting my applications to Ph.D. programs. Abby, my g/f, and I have applied to sixteen school in the US and Canada. Having that out of the way is certainly a load off my shoulders. We've heard a few good things, though I'm withholding details until we start making decisions.

But another reason I haven’t been blogging is the need for a break or what I like to call “brain fatigue.” I guess in the process of essentially writing my ass off, the idea of posting didn’t taste good. Seems reasonable, to quote my advisor, Rachel. I also decided to leave the community orchestra I’ve had the pleasure of conducting for the past three years. It was time for a change and they needed someone who could be more available than me.

One final note for anybody who’s in my thesis, I haven’t forgotten about mailing IRB forms. I’ll be getting those out over the weekend.